The QuiGon and Padme Letters
by ArwenMUC
Summary: While running from the Trade Federation together, Padme decides to ask Qui-Gon a few questions. The two begin a friendship for one another, as they discuss the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo. Will take you through the events of TPM.
1. Note 1 Padme

Author Note:

**1. I do not own SW or any of the official SW characters.**

**2. These letters should not be taken literally  
**

**3. This story is AU**

**4. I'm having co-writers write the part of Qui-Gon.**

**Timeframe: From just before the start of TPM to Qui-Gon's death at the end of TPM**

The quick background story of the Qui-Gon and Padmé PT Notes-

Following TPM events, Anakin has invited Qui-Gon, Jar-Jar, Padmé, and R2-D2 into his house, and Padmé wonders how long they will be stuck on Tatooine. She is impatient to continue on to Coruscant.

And the story begins... 

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

Note 1:  
Master Qui-Gon,

I have a question for you. How are we going to get the money for the parts of the ship we need? Are you going to ask that the Jedi Council send help? Yoda just wrote me and told me he would do that. What do you think?

Don't you find Anakin to be such a funny little boy?

How long do you think we will be stuck here?

Padmé


	2. Note 2 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Note 2  
Padme

That's a good question. I have 20,000 credits myself that I can use, and Republic credits are worthless out here. If they send more, more of nothing is still nothing. Unless they can come up with something that will appease the Hutts, and the junk dealer, currency wise, we are left with little option.

Yes, he is, and quite the good young man, I think. In answer to your question, Anakin has volunteered to race a pod for us, to convince Watto into betting, and when he wins, we give Watto the winnings, except for the cost of parts, and we take the parts and are gone. Not my first choice for a plan, but that is what has presented itself.

Assuming the race goes well and we win, we should be leaving by tomorrow evening. If not, the time could be indeterminable.

Qui-Gon


	3. Note 3 Padme

Note 3

Qui-Gon,

You said no to the rescue team idea? How could you do that? They could have come…and if they did…..we would have been out of here by now. The Queen NEEDS to get to Coruscant. Just what do you think you are doing?

Why do you believe that Anakin should race? You're putting his life in danger! I thought the Jedi were supposed to save lives, not destroy them.

You said that Anakin volunteered to race? How is that justification for messing up getting to Coruscant and putting a little boy's life in danger? You have a lot of greed…you're just putting Anakin in the race just…what…you think he can be a Jedi? So you could have proof that he should be a Jedi? That's horrible! You know how important it is that the Queen gets to Coruscant! I cannot believe you're doing this! You're trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know. The Queen would not approve.

And you're messing around with betting? I do not like this idea.

Do you know that Anakin told me he was going to marry me? How crazy is that! I am a Queen's Handmaiden and he's a slave! I'm 14 and he's 9…I think. I'm from Naboo and he's from Tatooine. What is that boy thinking?

Well we wouldn't be stuck here if you would have agreed that the rescue team be sent to us.

And what happens if we lose?

Well, I helped Anakin get his pod ready a little, but I still don't like him racing. He's just a little boy.

Well, I've had a busy day, and I'm exhausted. I guess I will see you tomorrow.

Padmé


	4. Note 4 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Note 3

Padme,

Yes, I said no to the rescue team. And while that is possible, I don't feel it would be probable. Tatooine is a remote world, yes, but so is Naboo. They aren't that far apart. The Trade Federation is most certainly looking for us. If they see a large scale entourage from the Republic, like the rescue team, then they'll know where we are. Then they can come, unexpectedly, and destroy the team before it ever gets here, it would also alert the Hutts that something was going on, and then we'd have TWO enemies to contend with. It's much safer for the queen to remain silent and unseen, than to advertise that she's here.

I don't like it any more than you do. However, the boy is strong in the Force. Very strong. This is why he's able to do it at all. Any other human would have been obliterated before the first quarter of the first run. He can do this, despite the fact that its not the most desireable option. Further he wishes to do it. That's his decision, and his mother's.

I justify nothing, young handmaiden. As for the queen not approving, she trusts my judgment, and you should too. Further, she doesn't need to know. I know that sounds harsh, and I don't intend for it to. Greed has nothing to do with this, at least, not where I'm concerned. For Watto, on the other hand, it has everything to do with greed. I put him in this place because this is the will of the Force. This is the opportunity that the Force led to us. There are compromises that must be made in any situation, but I'll not risk the queen's life, or yours, or any of your people's, nor am I risking Anakin's. I see Republic rescue teams every day. I've been part of them. They are large, very visible, very prominent entourages that attract a LOT of attention. They're supposed to. Do you wish the Federation AND the Hutts after us, Padme? The Hutt who's territory we're in, at this very moment, is a very well known and very shrewd gangster named Jabba. He's also a ruthless enemy who would not hesitate to destroy us all, if that's what it took to get what he wished. And he has a very strong liking for young, attractive human females. He generally keeps them, and Twi'lek females as love slaves, which means exactly what it implies. Forced physical intimacy. Is this the fate you wish? Have you ever seen a Hutt?

The betting is simply the only way Watto will accomodate us and get into the position we need him in to effectively bargain.

He's a nine year old boy, who's developed his first crush on the first human female he's seen who's not a slave, and who happens to also be a lovely young girl. Young children like that often say such things. They're fantasies, dreams, ways that the child copes with his or her environment. Soon, things will happen, he'll grow a bit older, and he'll forget about such things. I'm not saying to humor him, merely explaining why. It's a harmless crush. Haven't you ever had a crush on an older boy?

No, we wouldn't be stuck here. Most likely, we'd be dead. Is that preferable to you?

If we lose, Anakin suffers mild disappointment which he'll recover from in a couple of days, and we'll be in the position that we're in now: no local currency, and needing to purchase a J 14 hyperdrive.

He's just a little boy, yes. Your queen is just a 14 year old girl, but she rules an entire planet. Even little boys and little girls can do great things if they try, and if the people they care about care enough to allow them to try.

Sleep well, Padme. Tomorrow is an even busier day.

Qui-Gon Jinn


	5. Note 5 Padme

Note 5

Qui-Gon,

How can you rely on your instincts? Don't you ever think about ethical things? Don't you ever think of what is best for the situation? Well, why didn't you look for other opinions? I agree the ship needs to be repaired, but a wiser move would have been to accept the Republic's offer to send the rescue team. We could have come back for the ship later. Even if the Trade Federation were to learn that we were here, do you think they would really send an army after us? They're too busy killing and torturing the people on Naboo. Sigh…well what would the Hutts do to the Queen if they were to discover her? I guess what you said makes sense…but I still don't like it. I still don't think you acted in the best interest. Well I don't know much about Republic rescue teams, I admit.

I've never seen a Hutt either, and no, I don't know anything about them. However, you, as our Jedi protector, at least this is what I thought Jedi were supposed to do, would not let a Hutt touch me or anyone else that I am with.

Of course I'd rather be alive than dead. If Anakin loses the race, that means more people on Naboo will suffer and die.

Well I know it was Anakin's idea to race, but he's only 9 years old. Why didn't you look out for his well-being, or rely on reason and think that it is too dangerous to put a little boy's life in danger? And he's never even finished a race before! He's NEVER finished a race, Qui-Gon! How can you put all of our lives in danger? The citizens on Naboo are suffering and dying while we are stuck here jeopardizing EVERYTHING. We're taking way too big of a risk. How could you even think of relying on a boy we hardly know, one who has never even won a race before?

There is a difference between a 9 year old and a 14 year old. Yes, the queen is 14, and that's a lot older than 9. I'm not saying young people can't do great things, but we are putting everything we have into the hands of a little 9 year old boy who is racing in a very dangerous race.

I think it was a mistake to have you in charge of protecting the queen. Just because you are in charge of protecting her does not mean that you make the best decisions. She doesn't have to listen to you, you know. And HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE TRUSTS YOUR JUDGEMENT? Have you asked her? I don't think you have. You are arrogant if you assume she trusts you. Even if she does trust you, I don't approve.

You Jedi rely on the Force far too much. You should have left him alone and not tried to enter him into this race. It's not fair to him. How is it your job to put his life in danger? Were you asked by the Jedi Council to look for little boys that were "strong" in the Force, so that you can train them? I don't know very much about the Jedi, but I do know you have a Code. Aren't Jedi required to follow it? If so, then Anakin can't be trained anyway. He's already 9 years old. Even I know Jedi are taken and trained from birth. I don't think the Council will approve.

Yes, Anakin said he's going to marry me some day. He said it with such confidence too. He's a cute little boy, but he's only a little boy. I could never have a crush on a little boy…that's just wrong. So Jedi cannot marry? That's good. At least it saves me from little Anakin. What is the reason behind the no marriage rule anyway? I have always wondered that.

I don't mind talking to him. He's just a little boy anyway, and he is fun to be around, and to talk to. But I could never marry a slave. I would have to live on Tatooine if I married a slave, because the slaves get blown up if they leave their area. (Remember the transmitters inside their bodies?) I need to live on Naboo and serve my people as a handmaiden. That's the problem I have with him being a slave. I have nothing against slaves. I was just saying that because he suggested that we would marry each other when we were older. I care for Anakin as a person…just as I care about little kids that I baby-sit. I enjoy talking with them, and I enjoy listening to what they say. Anakin is a little annoying at times, but he is a very good little boy. He's smarter than most kids his age…actually smarter than any little kid I have ever talked with, and he is interesting. I would say that he is one of my favorite little kids…along with some of my favorites that I baby-sit for.

Yes, I've had little kids have crushes on me before, but his seemed different some how…it was the way he said it, with so much seriousness and determination. A lot of girls that I know have had crushes on older boys, but I haven't really. I have just had a crush on a boy who was a year older than me, not 5 years older than me. His name was Palo…he was my boyfriend for a while.

Well, the race is about to start. The flag ceremony was interesting, and it seems like the crowd likes Anakin fairly well, with all that cheering. His mother is nice, but she looks very worried. I noticed you talked to Anakin just now. What did you say to him?

Padmé


	6. Note 6 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

I can rely on my instincts because after all is said and done, that's all you're truly left with. Your instincts are more than simply impulses. They're also the product of your belief and training. So, to answer your question, the "ethical" thing is the focus of my instincts to begin with. What's best for the situation is not always the easiest solution, or the most readily seen solution. Looking for other opinions, as you put it, is a good thing to do, when it doesn't endanger those giving the opinions from outside forces over which I have no control. It would be wiser to be taken captive by the Hutts, or the Federation, or shot and killed by either or both? You can't come back for something you don't live to leave, Padme. They wouldn't have to send an army. There are more than enough bounty hunters and assassins on this planet that they could readily hire with but a word, and there's always their ability to negotiate with the Hutts. As long as the Hutts gain a percentage, they'd be happy to accomodate them. If the Hutts were to discover the queen, they'd most likely first humilate her, then have her placed in a collar and chain, with some sort of ridiculous slave girl outfit, and chained to whichever Hutt is in charge's throne, and used for their pleasure. I understand that you don't think so. That lack of understanding of the rescue teams, how such things function, and everything else is what contributes to the fact that you can't see what I'm doing for what it is. If you were in my position, and know what I know, then you would understand my decisions. Despite what you may think, I don't go out of my way to alarm you, or to anger you, my young friend. I am trying to save the lives of everyone with us. Its not the easiest task I've ever been given, but its one I will not fail in.

Yes, I am to protect you. Yet, even so, Obi-Wan and I are two Jedi against no less than 10,000 Hutts, and perhaps a million guards, mercenaries, soldiers, bounty hunters, and assassins also on this planet, all of them on the same side. We're strong in the Force, but we aren't that strong.

Yes, I am aware of this. This weighs quite heavily on my mind and shoulders. If I allow the queen, everyone aboard the ship, and us to be taken captive, and/or get killed, then potentially EVERYONE on Naboo will suffer and die. Its not a pleasant outcome, either way, but its one that you have to accept the lesser of two evils for the moment. This is not a juggling act that I relish, Padme. You may think me reckless, irresponsible, rash, cruel, and any number of other things...but perception and reality are not necessarily the same thing. I can't convince you differently, you'll just have to learn differently. Whether you do, or you don't, I'm bound by honor and my word to protect you, nonetheless, even if I must protect you from yourself.

I am looking out for his well being. I'm doing my level best to make sure he remains as safe as possible. In order to gain the capital we need, we need to race, and with luck, win. To do that, we need a pilot. If we don't allow Anakin to do as he wishes, we must find another. That means we would have to hire another. You've seen some of the other pilots around here, yes? Remember Sebulba? I'm sure he'd be a great humanitarian and race for us and help us get off this planet, don't you think? Or Quadrinero, perhaps? The simple fact of the matter is, Padme, as distasteful and wrong as it is, we simply have very little other choice. Sometimes, its necessary to do the wrong thing for the right reason. I'm aware he's not won a race before. But why hasn't he won a race? Because of cheating on the parts of other racers, particularly Sebulba. As cliche as it sounds, there must be a first time for everything. The bigger the risk, the greater the reward when the risk comes to fruition. If we weren't gambling on this race, Padme, we'd STILL be stuck here, as you say, except we'd be doing nothing to better our position. Nothing ventured is nothing gained.

I'm aware of that. Its a difference of 5 years. There's a "lot" of difference between a 19 year old and 14 year old. Or a 24 year old and a 19 year old, and so on. I wasn't aware there was an age limit on the ability to help your friends. I guess this is something they don't teach us at the Temple. Does his being 9 make him any less your friend? Does it make you any less fond of him, and I mean that in a friendship way, before you jump to conclusions? Does it make him breathe any less, or his heart pump any less blood, or him feel any lesser degree of joy, sorrow, pain, or happiness? How old is old enough? When he turns 14, you'll be 19. Will he be old enough then? Of course not. There's a "lot" of difference between a 19 year old and a 14 year old. Its a circular argument, my young friend.

I never said I make the best decisions. That's an assumption on your part. I simply make the decisions, good or bad. No, she doesn't. She's free to do exactly as she wishes. Yet, if she does something contrary to a decision I've made regarding her safety, and it puts her in harm's way, I'm not at fault for that. I will do my best to rectify it, but why close the pen gate when the nerf have all run away, instead of closing it before they leave? She apparently trusts it as she's listened to it and abided by it, without argument. Unlike certain handmaidens. Does one ask the water if its wet? Its obvious its wet. I've been called far worse than arrogant before, young Padme. Being called arrogant, or even worse, doesn't change reality. I know you don't approve. I wish that weren't so, but it is, and until perception changes, it will remain that way. I can only hope that it changes soon.

We rely on the Force because of what it is, Padme. Jedi are supposed to rely on the Force. Its what makes us Jedi, that and our beliefs. A Jedi's power flows from the Force. This is what makes us a bit different than most other people in the galaxy. Different, not better, just different. I wasn't told by the Council to protect the queen. I wasn't told by the Council to be stranded on Tatooine with only one option for getting off the planet. I wasn't told by the Council to constantly argue every decision I make concerning the safety of those in my charge. Yet, here I am, doing all those things. I was asked by the Council to serve as an ambassador and resolve a trade dispute between the Trade Federation and Naboo. Odd. This seems to be a bit of a different situation, don't you think? The Council isn't here. They aren't experiencing and living this. We are. We are the ones that see what this entails, and we are the ones that have to live with our decisions, one way or the other. I'm following the Jedi Code. I'm keeping peace, I'm maintaining a non threatening demeanor, and I'm using negotiation and trade to settle disputes. Not a single shot has been fired, nor has anyone tasted the blade of my lightsaber since we arrived in this situation to begin with. You're far too impatient, and unwilling to see the forest, because the trees are in your way, young handmaiden.

I never suggested that you could. I merely suggested that that's the situation he has. No, Jedi CAN marry...there are just strict guidelines you must abide by before such an act would be approved. One of the Knights that sits in with the Council, a Cerean named Ki Adi Mundi, has three or four wives, I believe. Of course, women outnumber men greatly on his planet, so its as much a cultural thing as it is a desire. Many outsiders to the Jedi way believe that Jedi can't marry because so few of us are. The rule that they speak of is actually against attachments. What this means is that if you form an emotional attachment to someone that you cannot let go of...such as when faced with saving your spouse or an innocent child and saving the child instead of the spouse, for example...then you are in danger of falling to the Dark Side. The attachments, though formed of the positive emotion of love, ultimately have a darker aspect in such a situation, because the decision in the example would be made from an emotional point of view, rather than a moral one. Another example is assume that you're a Jedi, and you're married. Your husband may, or may not, be a Jedi, it doesn't matter. Another woman shows interest in him. You become jealous. Jealousy comes because you are afraid to let go of the attachment. An attachment is the fear of losing something. Fear is a path to the Dark Side. Jealousy is the shadow of greed. I doubt it'll make much sense now, and I'll try to explain further if you don't understand. Its a very complex reasoning.

Then enjoy your time with him for what it is. Friendship. No one's asking you to marry him, except perhaps for Anakin himself. I'm well aware of the ramifications. I didn't come here to marry you off by any means, no more than I came here to free slaves, or negotiate water rights for the settlement of Mos Espa. Being as intelligent and understanding a child as he is, perhaps if you simply explain your feelings to him, he will understand? It'd simply be telling him the truth, and there's no harm in telling someone the truth, yes?

Of course its different. Its a different little boy. Every such thing from a different person is always different. I take it that things with Palo went in directions that you both couldn't follow? Such is the nature of things. Had you formed an emotional attachment, you would understand why the Jedi discourage such things.

Yes, they seem to indeed. This is a good thing. It will give him encouragement to try harder to win, harder than he already will. Shmi is very worried, yes. She, like you, is concerned for Anakin, obviously. Yet, she also knows that unsavory as it is, this is the only way. I asked him if he was all set, then told him "Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel. Don't think. Trust your instincts. May the Force be with you." A little last minute encouragement.

Qui-Gon Jinn


	7. Note 7 Padme

Note 7

Qui-Gon,

I am 14, yes. I know you have a lot more experience than I in this galaxy. However, just because I'm young don't assume I don't know anything. I cannot stand it when people judge me because of my age.

If all you rely on is instinct, then it sounds much easier that you would be acting like a wild animal. Oh…so by the word "instinct," you mean something that is the product of belief and training. I'm glad you clarified that, Mr. Jedi.

The Hutts haven't discovered the Queen yet, which I am thankful for. I don't think that they will. Of course I don't want anyone to be taken prisoner or killed. What point is there to argue this with you? It's done and over with. Anakin won the race. Let's get out of here and on to Coruscant.

I understand that you are trying to protect everyone…it's just that I don't agree with everything you do.

I have to acknowledge that you were right about Anakin winning the race. He did win, luckily. If he hadn't of won, I don't know what I would do. We would be in big trouble. You are right, he DOES have exceptional skill, but I don't know how you knew that before he raced! When he stalled at the start of the race, I was a little bit worried…and then when Sebulba forced him onto the service ramp, I was very worried, but in the end…Anakin came through. Were you worried at all during that race? He impressed me, in a most surprising way. Who would have thought a little boy could win such a race, especially since he had never finished a race before.

Well remember, though, Anakin IS a slave. He cannot leave Tatooine because of his device in his body. If he were to come up missing, Watto would blow him up. I don't see how Anakin can be trained.

Well, I'm glad that we finally have the parts we need for the ship. I can't wait to get off this planet, and go to Coruscant. Things are actually getting accomplished for a change. I thought the Dark Side was hate and power hungerness. How can love lead to the Dark Side? Love is powerful, true, but so much can be accomplished. Why do you help people if Jedi think love is dangerous? It is a different kind of love, true, but I believe that romantic love SHOULD exhibit an unconditional love. How can you Jedi believe bad things about Love?

Here is a good definition of the word, and tell me why you think it's so bad: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

You tell me how love can be such a bad thing! If there were no love in the galaxy, think what a terrible place it would be. It would be all hate…and everyone would be out for themselves. That sounds a lot like the Dark Side to me…and that's the absence of love.

I believe so much could come out of a marriage of true love. I'm not talking about the cheap kind of love where people get into relationships for stupid reasons with no commitment. A lot of people think love equals sex. I highly disagree with that. I believe sex should wait until after marriage, and that the couple should become very close friends before marriage. I don't know how else to explain it. That's what I want when I finally get married.

Thank you for clearing up the distinction on Jedi and marriage, though attachment sounds like love to me. I suppose I'll never understand your ways. I am not Jedi. However, if someone loves someone enough, you know, that doesn't mean that the person will act in a way that would destroy others lives. You don't know that. Someone with an "attachment" might come along and decide to sacrifice the person they loved so that innocent people could live, like the situation you described. That person may still have an "attachment" but still be able to act morally.

And about the "jealous" thing…if I were a Jedi, and my husband truly loved me…if he had an "attachment" to me, if it was true love…he wouldn't even look at any other woman that showed interest in him. And you know what? I wouldn't be afraid of losing him to another woman…because I would love him, and trust him, trust him that he wouldn't fall for another woman. So you know, true love…the way I believe love should be, doesn't even allow jealousy in. This is the kind of love I would like, and I believe that I am not the only one who wishes for it. No, Master Jedi…I believe jealousy comes from immature "love," not real love.

Yes, what you said sort of makes sense. I think that jealousy IS a shadow of greed….which real love doesn't allow either of them…so if a Jedi REALLY loved someone, then I don't see any problem that you Jedi could have with "attachment."

I don't know how you Jedi can go through life not loving anything or anyone. It must be terrible. Thank goodness I am not a Jedi.

I wasn't arguing that there was an age limit to help friends. Of course friends should help each other, no matter the age…it's just that Anakin suggested marriage. No, his being 9 doesn't make him any less my friend. He is my friend, and I do care for him, but not like Anakin wants me to care for him. Anakin will always be the little boy I knew on Tatooine to me. I know you didn't come here to marry me off, Master Jedi. Oh…I don't know, I don't know why it's bothered me so much about what Anakin said. I don't even know how I feel for sure. It's just not possible for me to marry him.

Palo and I couldn't continue our relationship. He went on to become an artist, and we knew that he would be leaving. We thought it was the best thing for both of us if we broke up. Besides…the relationship wasn't right…he and I both knew that. It was hard to admit, but it wasn't working, and we knew we would be going in different directions.

Thanks for encouraging Anakin…

Sigh….I know I must be very difficult right now…it's just that…I…I'm very worried, and I want to get to Coruscant…and there's so much at stake. I cannot tell you everything. You can't understand.

Now let's see…we should be leaving soon. Where are you? We need to get going as soon as possible.

Padmé


	8. Note 8 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme

As many do, you took me differently than I said, or intended, it. I don't judge you. Because of your age, or any other factor. Its not my place, nor my purpose, to judge you. I have things I'm supposed to do. The nature of these things sometimes makes me sound abrupt and brusque. Its not my intention, and I apolgize if it sounded that way.

Trying to explain all the facets of what I mean by "instinct" would take more time than we have. Your disapproval, and dislike, of me are obvious, but you are, of course, entitled to your feelings and beliefs. It saddens me that you feel thusly, but there's little I can do about it at the moment. Perhaps in time it will change, perhaps it won't.

No, they haven't, and I, for one, would prefer to keep it that way. But as you say, the race is won. Its time to get the parts to the ship, get it repaired, and be on our way.

Of course you don't agree with everything, and you shouldn't. As I'm so frequently telling Obi-Wan, its wise to question things from time to time. It reassures everyone and keeps the solidity of what you're dealing with sure.

I knew that because there are things I'm aware of, and trained to notice, that you are not. Those things were definite worry spots, and they could have cost us dearly, but the Force made its will known, and Anakin won. Was I worried? Of course I was. Despite the fact that the Force not only influences things, or obeys our commands. It doesn't control us, not in the traditional sense. It guides us. There were moments when I felt perhaps I had misunderstood what the Force was telling me. I'm glad I wasn't. His win was most impressive, indeed. He's a very determined young man.

No, Anakin WAS a slave. Part of the wager is that he be set free. I tried to get his mother freed as well, but Watto wouldn't have it. Perhaps I can do something for her after I've got Anakin settled into the Temple, which won't be long. When he's released, the device will be disarmed.

Many non Jedi misunderstand the things we say about the Force, and in particular the Dark Side. Love, in and of itself, is not what leads to the Dark Side. The attachment that forms, the attachment that is the root cause of jealousy, anger, suspicion, doubt, greed, etc in a relationship, these are what leads to the Dark Side. Love is a wonderful thing, but if you're afraid to let go of it, or lose it, for whatever reason, that fear that forms that attachment is the path that leads to the Dark Side. Its a difficult concept to explain, and an even harder one to understand. But the Jedi believe nothing bad about love. Love isn't the path to the Dark Side. The things that lurk in Love's shadow, without its knowledge, are what lead to it.

You're saying nothing that we don't say within and outside the Temple. A blaster, in and of itself, isn't evil. Its simply a tool. Yet, if a criminal, fueled by greed and aggression, picks up the blaster, and kills with it, an evil act has been committed. The blaster wasn't evil, but the power it could represent was used for evil. A rather bad analogy, but one that I hope makes a bit of sense?

Padme, you're proceeding from a false assumption. I'm a very active advocate of love. I love what I do, what my calling is. I love Obi-Wan as if he were my own son. I love you, and the others on board, because you are people, and because over the time we've come to be together, we've come to know each other a bit, and friendship is a form of love. I love Anakin for the same reason. Love is an essential part of a Jedi's life and makeup. Its part of who we are. It would help if you weren't so reactionary, and would actually consider what you hear before you speak. God, whatever power you wish to assign the creation of living beings to, gave most of us two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen twice as much as we speak. I don't say this to sound mean, or rough, I simply want to illustrate a point. You took your perception of what I said, with only very cursory examination of it, and have gone on for several moments about something you think I meant by words entirely different than what you're saying. Never once did I say, "Love leads to the Dark Side," "Love is evil," or "Love is bad," or any permutation of these. Never. That's what you took me to mean, not what I said.

True love is a wonderful thing. I don't consider what you're referring to as "cheap love" as love at all, at least, not love for the person they're marrying. Sex has nothing to do with love, at least not in the formulation of what love is. Its an act that two people that love each other may express that love in a romantic fashion, perhaps, if you wish to define an association with love with it. No matter how its associated, sex does not equal love, and vice versa. I agree with your assessment of the situation. I've never suggested, nor said, otherwise.

You're welcome. Attachment is born from love, but is not love. Love is too often used as a synonym for other things. One can be attached to wealth, and they say they "love money," but they don't truly love it, their greed for it is their attachment to it. Attachment is the fear of losing something, and subconsciously fighting against losing it. You've heard the _expression, "Don't get too attached to so and so, because it/they won't be here long?" This illustrates that concept rather well. You can love someone without the fear of losing them. Unfortunately, for most people, love inevitably means attachment. Jealousy, fear, unfounded concerns, unmitigated worry, and many other things are born from such an attachment. They're subconscious. Its not an intentional, thoughtful progression. Attachment has no true rationale behind it. Its instinctive, to a point, based on that person's personality. Some are far more susceptible to it than others. I, myself, am prone to attachments. This is why I've never married. I never have because I know should I ever have come into a situation in which I had to let go of the attachment and do the right thing, I wouldn't be able to. I'd react in anger or rage or something else negative, and that is calling upon the Dark Side, inviting it in. Once it has you, it doesn't let go. Even if you're redeemed somehow, that shadow will always loom over your shoulder.

The way you are interpreting what I mean is very superficial. If it was true love, he probably wouldn't, no. It could be true love, but in your own mind, you could still perceive him as wanting another, whether he does or not. Its still jealousy, whether he's giving you a reason for it, or not. Its a subliminal, subconscious thing. You can't simply decide you're not going to be jealous. As for having an attachment and acting morally, its possible, but ultimately flawed. People often do the right thing for the wrong reasons, or do the wrong thing for the right reasons. The motivation and the spirit are what come into play. A Dark Jedi can save his wife from being killed by another Dark Jedi, and run away, and this is a good act, but does it make the person moral simply because they did a moral thing? No.

The thing that you're not understanding is that you almost never feel ONE emotion, but several. Love is one emotion. The things that come with it, even if you don't realize it, are entirely another. Love is not an island. It has building stones, layers, parts, walls, many different facets and permutations. What you THINK you do, and what you DO, are often quite different. You can think you REALLY love someone, but jealousy, anger, etc can still be there, and often are. Love is a cooperative effort, even within ONE person. Its never independant.

No one said we don't love anything or anyone. Again, you're proceeding from a false assumption, and a skewed perception of what was actually said.

He is, as you pointed out, a nine year old. Its common for young boys to want to marry an older woman they become infatuated with. Its very common, I'm told, that some young children want to marry their opposite sex parent (boys want to marry mothers, girls want to marry fathers) until they're about four or five years old, even. Its a fantasy within his own mind that'll probably expend itself within a year, two at the most, probably. If he suggested overthrowing the government of Corellia and managing a corporate takeover of the Corellian Shipyards, would you be as concerned with that? He is a boy. He'll eventually grow out of it, out of the crush, and move on to something different. I'm not saying you should encourage him. I'm simply saying you're straining at a gnat. If its not possible, why concern yourself? What cannot be will not be.

That showed maturity, on yours, and on Palo's parts. You are quite a wise young lady, when you put your mind to it, and your ear.

You're welcome. I encouraged him because I believed in him. Its that simple.

You're under a lot of stress, Padme, as are we all. Its to be expected. You're worried, and anxious to get on our way. I can't, and don't blame you. I make no pretense of understanding everything. You may tell me what you wish, or what you feel comfortable doing. The rest is for your thoughts alone, or whoever you wish to share them with.

I'm on my way to take Shmi the money we got for selling Anakin's pod. He'll then pick up his things and we'll be on our way. I imagine he'll wish to say good bye to his mother.

Qui-Gon


	9. Note 9 Padme

Note 9

Qui-Gon,

I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to sound like I was going off on you. It's just that since I am such a young person…I'm young because the queen is young, and all the handmaidens must be the same age as the queen, so that they can serve as her decoy…anyway, since I am so young, very few people will look up to me. It's the same way with the queen, only worse. Many of the other government leaders think they know better because they are older, and it is very frustrating for her. I was just being hard on you because I am frustrated with our current circumstances.

Let's get off this planet as soon as possible. The sooner we reach Coruscant, the sooner we'll be safe.

What? You freed Anakin? What are you going to do with him? He's only 9 years old! What if the Jedi Council doesn't accept him for training? Then what? You just put a little boy out into the real world. He will have a hard time finding a job…most people wouldn't want a 9 year old to work for them. Are you going to send him to an orphanage? And what about his mother? How will he make a living? How will he survive in this galaxy?

I mean I'm glad he's freed…but what will this mean for him?

What does Anakin want? I mean; does he want to train? And if so, you shouldn't make any promises. You will still have to go before the Council, and if they don't accept him, he's going to be heartbroken.

You are right, I don't want to see this planet again for a LONG time.

With the right thing at the center of a love relationship, love will not become an obsession. I have never been in love myself, but I know what I want love to be for me. I will never let it control me, and I believe that you Jedi would be able to control it enough so that you could have relationships. Love is a very beautiful thing in it's purest form. Through it so much good can be accomplished. I think you just have to keep your relationship centered on the right thing …and if so, then your relationship wouldn't be so bad, would it?

If you have your relationship centered on the right things, you wouldn't be controlled by it in the sense you're talking about. Love should control people though…I think. I'm talking about the agape love. The kind of love that you love another person just because they are a person. You see a person in need, and you help them. That is love. If you have that kind of love at the center of your life…and the thing that love comes from, then there are no risks. Love can be purely good.

Those are my beliefs. I know I'm not a Jedi, but I think you Jedi would be happier if you were allowed to enter a relationship. You would be able to share things with another person. I don't think it would be so bad.

Please get back here as quickly as possible. Let me know what Anakin's reaction is to being freed.

I must attend to the Queen. I'll contact you again once we are in the air.

I have returned.

I'm so glad that you and Anakin were able to make it back safely to the ship. What was that thing that you were fighting with? It seemed to be an evil Jedi or something. It carried a lightsaber too. Everyone aboard the ship was very worried for you. It looked like the fight was pretty tough. Do you believe that thing was after the queen? But why would that thing be involved with the Naboo Invasion?

I'm glad to be off that planet. It was a little too warm for my taste.

I had trouble sleeping, and when I went for a walk around the ship at night, I noticed Anakin was up too. I gave him a blanket, and tried to comfort him a little. He's very homesick, and he misses his mother. Maybe you could comfort him in some way too. He made me this necklace that he carved. He told me it was for me to remember him by. I told him I didn't need it to remember him, but it was very kind of him to do that.

Do you have doubts about the Senate? Senator Palpatine seems to. When we land, he will meet with the Queen, and then I will learn more. He thinks other Senators may not see Naboo's plight? How could they not? It appears so obvious to me. What do you think is causing his doubt?

I'm sorry that Anakin's mother couldn't be freed. She seemed like such a kind person. It's too bad there's still slavery in the galaxy. I wish there was something we could do for her. She loves Anakin very much, and he loves her. I hope it was wise of you to take Anakin with us to Coruscant. If anything happens on the way, we're responsible for his life. Even if Anakin wants to train, will he be able to? You think the Council will accept him, but you don't know for sure. How can you train him without the Council's permission? Don't you have Obi-Wan to look after too?

I don't like Tatooine because of all the sand and heat. I don't think anyone would. Sometimes I think you Jedi put too much pressure on yourselves. You are almost making it wrong to be human.

Emotions CAN affect judgment, but only if you let them. You can also be smart about your emotions. You have too many restrictions. I'm glad I'm not a Jedi. I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

I don't dislike you entirely. I don't like a lot of the decisions you have made, or the way you go about conducting yourself, assuming that everyone will approve of you.

I agree that questioning is good too, and yes, I can learn from it. I can become even more certain of my opinions or beliefs.

I admit, I WAS impressed with his win also. Who would have thought a nine year old human boy could win a pod race? Yes, LOL, Anakin does seem to be a very determined little boy. He's determined in more than one area. He is still trying to convince me that we're getting married in the future.

This "attachment" thing doesn't HAVE to be part of love, you know. And I don't think it's the attachment thing that is the root cause of jealousy, anger, suspicion, doubt, greed, etc in a relationship. None of those things that you labeled are real parts of love. In fact, I would go as far as to say they are counterfeit love. Each one of those demonstrates a lack of trust on the person feeling them's part. I actually think that those things you just listed are caused from sin, and believing half truths about what real love actually is.

I'm sorry…I just do not understand this connection between your "attachment" items and the Dark Side. I don't even understand the Dark Side to begin with. I'm not a Jedi, so you'll have to excuse my misunderstandings.

I'm sorry, but I just felt so strongly about the topic of love. You're right…I didn't really know the Jedi stance on this issue, and I am sorry.

I don't believe that what I called "cheap love" is real love either, but some people insist that it is love. I'm glad we agree that sex has nothing to do with the formulation of what love is. I didn't mean to imply that you felt otherwise, Master Jedi. I said it to state my own opinion, not to imply what I thought you thought.

You might not be able to control whether or not you are going to be jealous…at least in your eyes, but you can decide that you're going to trust the other person, that you're going to decide to love the other person, and that you don't have to be afraid of what anyone else might think, or what your husband thinks…because the two would be committed to the same thing. It's a higher standard…it's with the standard of love, not the standard of the general galaxy.

I agree that actions do not simply make a person moral.

The only reason this "attachment" thing might be considered as instinctive in love is because, like I said earlier, the things you describe as attachment, stem from sin.

I don't understand what you're saying about love. I believe it CAN be independent of the other things that you described.

You're probably right about Anakin, though. He will get over his crush on me soon…hopefully when we are separated, and he'll forget all about his feelings for me.

Thank you, Master Jedi.

Well, we are approaching Coruscant now. Does anyone know we're coming right now?

Padmé


	10. Note 10 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

I more than understand, everything that you've just said. My respect for someone isn't built on their age. Its built on them. I'm considered a bit of a maverick back at the Temple, to say the least. My methods are unorthodox, even questionable sometimes, by their reckoning, and I'm even considered somewhat reckless from time to time. There's always a method to my "madness," though, and its not always readily apparent. Again, I apologize if I seemed brusque, or dismissive. I wasn't intending to be. So I can more than understand your harshness as a result.

I couldn't agree with you more. There's been too much time put behind us already, but it couldn't be helped, unfortunately.

I freed him, yes. If the Council doesn't accept him for training, then I shall do what I must. Even if it means leaving the Order, and training him myself. In any case, he will be safe, and cared for. I am working on a solution for his mother as well. It may take time, but I'm confident that I can achieve her release as well.

It means he'll be taking his first steps into a much larger world.

He wishes to be trained. I hope that it doesn't come to that, but I will, as I said, do what I must. Whatever that may be.

I can't say I blame you there.

If that were humanly possible, on a constant basis, no, it wouldn't be bad at all. Love isn't the problem. The problem is the uncontrollable thoughts and emotions that are inherent with such an attachment. They're often subconscious, not even realized as being present. If we were able to fully and completely love as you describe, without the coloration of jealousy, lust, and other negative emotions that lurk in the background, even silently, then there would be no need for such a rule. A non Jedi isn't warned against attachments from birth, and therefore tends to make several. However, non Jedi don't wield the kind of power that a Jedi does, and if that Jedi were to be experiencing the troubles we fear, it could be very dangerous, for everyone. We don't attack love, nor do we consider love an enemy. Love is a beautiful thing, and a very precious gift. However, like any gift, it must be treated with respect, and handled responsibily, and part of that is realizing and understanding our own limitations.

Love itself is purely good. Its the person that feels it that is the concern. No matter how good we are, we are still human beings, and therefore flawed. We possess equal potential for good or bad. I myself am not exempt, by any means, from this. In fact, I'm probably MORE susceptible to its folly than most. This is why I maintain such a tight rein on who I am, inside. I have the potential to serve darkness, and quite strongly. What keeps me from doing so is my devotion to not doing so. When you enter an attachment into that equation, the sides of the equation, so to speak, become very blurred, indistinct. Its hard to figure which side is the right side. This produces an internal schizm, and that produces conflict. Conflict results invariably in anger, frustration, rage, jealousy, or any number of negative emotions, in any combination. That inevitably leads to the Dark Side, whether you brush it and run away from it, or whether you embrace it wholeheartedly, you've still touched it, and therefore are far more vulnerable to its call the next time such a thing happens.

We are allowed to enter a relationship. The thing that you're missing is that we're encouraged not to allow the dangerous attachment to form. If the Council believes you capable of being in the relationship, and not allowing that attachment to hinder your responsibility, then their blessing is given. If they think you aren't ready, they tell you so, and they advise waiting, or getting to understand the nature of attachments better before entering such a thing. I have yet to see why everyone thinks that we're against marriage, or against a relationship. If its because so few of us are married, that's a matter of choice, by them all, not a matter of decree.

His reaction was happy, though he was saddened that his mother isn't able to come, yet.

In my belief, more than likely, the being I fought was a Sith Lord. Yes, it carried a lightsaber. They're highly trained in the Jedi arts. The fight was indeed quite rough. It was much younger than I am, and was channeling its hate and rage to gain power. I believe it was, yes. Why? Very simple. The Sith are known for working in the background of many things. The Trade Federation's move made no logical sense. They are cowards, by nature. Their move was too bold, too well planned. Its quite possible they had some sort of assistance or oversight with the Sith.

Mine as well. I much prefer Coruscant's climate.

Anakin misses her greatly. I more than understand. I'll try speaking with him, and see if perhaps I can't give him some perspective and cheer of some sort. That was very kind of him. He gives wholeheartedly, a rare trait in the galaxy now.

I have more doubt in the procedures that the Senate follows than the Senate themselves. I've never been one for politics, of course. Vallorum is a friend to me, and I respect him. I don't know Palpatine that well, but he seems to have served honorably so far, and his understanding of political machinations is much more complete than mine. In my experience, the obvious thing is not always the thing that will be done. Especially where politicians are concerned.

I'm sorry as well. I know they love each other quite dearly. No, I don't know for sure that they'll go along with it, but its something that must be done. Have you ever felt something, so strongly, so completely, and that even though it seemed to defy all logic and reasoning, you knew it had to be done, regardless? This is what I'm experiencing. This is what's meant to be. Yes, I have Obi-Wan to attend to. He's actually ready to take the trials for Knighthood. There's little more he can learn from me. The rest will have to come with experience. If they say no, then I'll have no choice. I'll have to turn my back on the Order, and train him anyway. His training is essential. It must be done. The fate of the entire galaxy will one day rest on his shoulders.

No, we don't intend to make it "wrong to be human." We understand our limitations and try to overcome and bypass them, becoming a much more complete being as a result. Its not for everyone, not by a long shot. But it is something that is necessary to go with the responsibility we have to the people of the galaxy.

Can you control your emotions all the time, every moment? If you were to enter your home when you return to Naboo and find your entire family slain in cold blood, lying stiff on the floor, could you prevent yourself from being angry, or shedding tears, or from hating whoever did that, and wanting revenge? Honestly, can you? No control is absolute. None. I don't care if you're a Jedi or not, or who or what you are, no control is absolute. The very fact that you allowed your frustrations and anger to allow you to lash out at me before indicates that you cannot control your emotions all the time. Not even when you think you are controlling them. I'm not attempting to hurt you, or anger you here, merely illustrating a point. Everything in a Jedi's life is a practice in control. Its that way for a reason. You speak of control, but lack it. You're a very observant and intelligent young lady, Padme, and I admire you. Even so, you really need to learn to see all that is before you before you speak. Limiting yourself to a small portion of what's going on will eventually destroy you, if you're not careful. If you wish to serve your queen and people well, learn to see all, not part. Learn to see past what is readily seen, and see that which lies hidden beneath. Intuition and insight are invaluable tools. They can be harnessed and train, rather than simply remaining random. You have that ability. To not use it would be a waste, and a shame.

You're not alone. Obi-Wan shares your thoughts more often than not. I don't do what I do, assuming everyone will approve. I do what I do because it is what must be done, as I can see it before me. I spend much time meditating on what will come to pass, if this or that happens. I'm not always completely right, but I'm more right far more often than I'm more wrong.

Indeed you can. And you become the stronger for it.

He's very persistent, yes. He means you no disrespect or harm with his assertation. He's expressing what he believes is an emotion. Children often do such things, even those raised within the Jedi Temple. Do what you feel you must. That is the path you must follow. Search within yourself and you'll find the solution to your question.

No, it doesn't. What an attachment is is the fear of losing something. You must learn to let go of that which you fear to lose. That fear is a path to the Dark Side. A path need not be direct or intentional to still be a path. You can travel the Corellian Trade Route, and although you won't go directly to Sullust, you'll eventually end up there if you keep following it. If you're attached to something in this manner, and someone goes to take it away, that fear often propogates anger, because someone is trying to take it away from you. That can also manifest as greed, in the case of money, or jealousy, in the case of a lover, and so on. That attachment that I speak of is the root. It in itself is a vein to the Dark Side itself: fear. You have believed an attachment that I referred to as loving someone, or something similar. No. Its the fear of losing something, the refusal to accept that it might be lost and let go. The more you hold onto that fear, the quicker you stride towards the Dark Side. None of the things you are saying are relevant to what I'm telling you. The anger, suspicion, doubt, jealousy, etc are not products of the love. They are products of the fear. It has nothing to do with trust. You can be the most secure person in a relationship in the galaxy, but if you still fear to lose that relationship, its still a dangerous attachment. As for sin, what do you think the Dark Side is? The Dark Side of the Force is the mystical, spiritual manifestation of sin. The Dark Side is how sin is represented in the Force. Its tempting, luring, seductive. Stop hearing what you think I'm saying, and listen to what I am saying. Please. Despite the fact that you may not like me, completely or just sometimes, that's irrelevant. If you wish to understand, you can't if you aren't willing to. If you aren't willing to listen to what I'm saying, and not just hear what I'm saying and making up your own mind as to what I mean by it.

Its understandable you don't understand. There are many who've lived their whole lives with the teaching, everyday, and still don't understand it completely. You don't need to understand how a blaster works, inside, to produce the bolts it fires for it to kill you. You don't need to understand how the digestive system in the human body works for your food to provide nourishment and sustenance. You don't need to understand how your planet's geometric dynamics make it function within your solar system, and that in turn working in the galaxy, for it to be there, and sustain life. It is what it is, whether you understand it or not. It won't approach you and explain itself, you have to make a conscious decision to attempt to understand. Your not understanding the Jedi aspects of things is completely excuseable, and understandable. Not everyone is a Jedi, and not everyone receives the teaching and training that we do growing up. You asked to understand, I attempted to explain. That's all.

Its a common misconception. You're no more guilty of it than a billion other beings out there. You should have strong feelings about love. Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.

Again, understandable as well. If I seem so passionate for you to understand, its because whatever else I am, I am a teacher. To have a student, even an unknowing one, walk away from me without understanding something is something that drives me crazy, until I can resolve it. If you ask me for understanding and information, I wish to do my best to provide those to you, if at all possible.

You can decide that you want to trust, but that doesn't mean you can decide to trust. Example...you are about to fall into the large canyon near Mos Espa on Tatooine that we saw. I manage to catch ahold of your hand before you fall completely, and you're dangling, my grip being the only thing keeping you from dying. Now, for argument's sake, let's assume that you've decided before this that you thought my motives and methods were TOO questionable. You vehemently didn't agree with me. Now then, I have you suspended above a yawning canyon, my grip being the only thing saving you, and no one else in sight or yelling distance. I'm a Jedi, sworn to protect and serve the people of the galaxy. But I'm also the reckless individual who risked everyone's life on a ten million to one shot on a pod race, and did a number of other things that, in your mind, no Jedi would consider doing. Regardless of how you feel about me, I'm still a Jedi, not relieved of the title by the Council, yet I'm also the person you felt just an hour ago was pressing my luck on keeping you alive. Do you see and trust the Jedi that holds you, or do you see and mistrust the man in the Jedi robes that you feel is far too dangerous? You can say, of course, that I'm a Jedi, and you trust me completely. But do you? Think, and answer honestly. Do you trust me? Questioning me is not mistrusting me. Directly opposing me is. If it had been within your power to stop me from entering Anakin in the pod race, would you have? You can choose to trust me all day and night long. This doesn't mean you DO trust me, however. A rather absurd and extreme example, but one that fits the situation in understanding.

No they don't. Not even close. As I've said numerous times before, and I'll reiterate now, this is precisely what I'm saying. Love has nothing to do with the fear, or attachment, that I'm speaking of. You're only hearing the word "love," and everything else is tuned out, like static on a comm channel. Love is present in the most easily understood examples. Nowhere, at no time, did I say that these things sprang from love. I said they spring from the attachment. The attachment is fear. Attachment and fear are synonyms, different names for the same thing. The same way that water is "blue liquid," stuff that a boat sails on, or two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen. These are all water.

That's most likely. He'll have other things on his mind, and a new world opening up to him. Spend your worry on something more deserving of the worry. Anakin is a friend, and ultimately harmless. The crush is inconvenient, its even probably exasperating, but affects little, in the whole.

You're welcome, my young friend.

Yes, I've had word sent ahead that we're inbound. We should be met by a small group at the platform near the Senate building.

Qui-Gon


	11. Note 11 Padme

Note 11

Qui-Gon,

That thing was trained in the Jedi arts? Anakin says you think the attacker was. So the Jedi power can be used for evil? I have never heard of a Sith Lord before, but is that what you call beings that use the force for evil? Where did that Sith come from? I've never heard of one before. They may have existed before the formation of the Republic, but not during the Republic. I am well versed in Republic history. There was no mention of them in all my studies.

How do you think Anakin's mother is handling this? I've been writing to her, and it is clear that she loves her son very much. She wants us all to protect him. I assured her that I would do my best.

Anakin also told me that you were going to take him before the Jedi Council, which would hopefully begin his Jedi Training. You must tell me how the meeting goes with the Council. I want Anakin to be able to reach his dreams. He's such a nice little boy.

Two people have mentioned that the Senate is corrupt today…Senator Bail Antilles from Alderaan and Senator Palpatine. Senator Palpatine has been talking with Queen Amidala, and has told her as much. He argued with her, and said that he doesn't feel that the Senate will act on the invasion. He thinks Chancellor Valorum is corrupt, and that the bureaucrats will persuade him to do as they want. He thinks the best move we can make would be to push for the election of a new Chancellor…by calling for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum. I don't know about that. I don't want to kick Valorum out of office. He's been our strongest supporter. I don't see any other way to take this legally. We certainly cannot submit a plea to the courts, because they take longer to decide things than the Senate. Naboo's options are limited. I feel so helpless. The Queen must decide…the pressure must be so great on her.

Does Obi-Wan know how you feel about Anakin? Maybe you better have a talk with him. Does he think he's ready for the trials? Who gets to decide when a Jedi is ready for the trials anyway? It almost seems as if you're pushing away Obi-Wan just so you can train Anakin. Is that how you really feel? And do you think Obi-Wan will get jealous?

I wish you luck at your Jedi meeting. Anakin stopped by to see me before his meeting with the Jedi. I hope I was able to provide him with some confidence. Understandably he's nervous about going before the Council. He told me that this is his life long dream.

Will the Council really accept him?

And just how do you think you're going to secure Shmi's release? Certainly not by the Senate. Senator Palpatine fears that the Senate will not even act our planet's invasion. They would not allow you to free a slave, unfortunately.

Master Jedi, it IS possible to love almost completely, though it is not easy. You have to know the Source of Love…the Author of Love. Sadly, not many people experience this type of love, but it is possible. Understand that pure love makes no room for jealousy, lust, and the other stuff you Jedi talk about as being part of attachment. Don't you realize that in real love, there is no fear at all? Haven't you ever heard that there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…

If this is true, which I believe it is, Master Jedi, then this whole attachment thing does not hold up to the standard of love. All I can say is that I am glad I am not a Jedi. I do not have to worry about this attachment rule. I agree that love should be handled responsibly and taken seriously.

Yes, human beings are flawed. I agree with that, and there is always the TEMPTATION to feel those bad things…lies and half truths, and other things that can help a person go astray, but that doesn't mean that a person has to give in all the time. It is possible (but cannot be done through human effort or strength) to love each other with a higher standard…with real love….but of course that love still wouldn't be PERFECT or COMPLETE. That doesn't mean a person can't strive to love purely, and really…jealousy and lust shouldn't be in that relationship. Of course sometimes bad stuff enters the relationship, but that doesn't mean that the situation can't be fixed. If both people are committed to act by the standard of true love, these occurrences would be very few.

We disagree on this. I am not a Jedi…

I hope the Council examines each case carefully before they decide whether a person can or cannot be in a relationship. I have always heard that Jedi were not allowed to love or become involved romantically. It's a rumor that is spread galaxy wide. Not many people have the chance to talk to a real Jedi about such beliefs.

Well, Master Jedi, I will let you handle this possible Sith situation. I don't know much about it. I hope that you are wrong about it being a Sith Lord, but I trust that you know what to do with it. You think it may be in connection with the Trade Federation? I hope not….but that may make sense. The Trade Federation leaders have always appeared to be fearful to me. When I spoke to them after you had arrived on the droid control ship, they reacted differently than usual. I hope that Sith did not learn of where we were going.

Thanks. I'm sure Anakin would appreciate the cheer and comfort you could provide for him. Anakin does seem to give wholeheartedly. He's such a sweet little boy.

Yes, I have sometimes felt something so strongly and completely, even though it seemed to defy all logic and reasoning….and yet that the action needed to be taken. I think that happens every time we put faith in something to happen that doesn't appear as if it will happen. I have felt that feeling on several occasions…I KNEW we had to get to Coruscant.

You would really leave the Jedi Order in order to train Anakin? It's THAT important to you that he be trained? Wow. I doubt Anakin knows how strongly you are pushing for his training.

Of course I cannot control my emotions all the time, at every moment. No one can. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry, master Jedi, or feeling emotions. There is nothing wrong with crying, in fact it helps me feel better and less stressed sometimes. I am not completely out of control, but I do not feel that is wrong to have emotions. I appreciate your advice, Master Jedi, and I will strive to work on being a better handmaiden. What are you talking about with what you said about "intuition and insight are invaluable tools. They can be harnessed and train, rather than simply remaining random. You have that ability. To not use it would be a waste, and a shame."

And, Master Jedi, I admire you for not doing things for the approval of others. I do not aim to win the approval of others most of the time either…but you must understand that I did not like a lot of your decisions, especially about those involving Anakin when we were on Tatooine.

Yes, I understand. Anakin will forget about this crush some day, though it was highly unnerving for me.

Like I said before, if attachment means fear of losing something, then it shouldn't even be equated as being part of love. And if it really is the refusal to accept that it might be lost and let go…as you say…then again, it has no place in love. And, Master Jedi, again I disagree with you. You said that none of that stuff has to do with trust. I would tell you that it has every bit to do with trust. If you trust someone….if you are faithful to the person that you love, and you two share this love, then there IS NO REASON TO FEAR losing that person to someone else. It involves a choice. Because I love this person, I'm not going to believe that this person is a threat to me. It's about believing and trusting that the other person will be faithful to you and love you with that same love. Therefore jealousy can not be present with two individuals who are faithful to one another.

And yes, the Dark Side does sound as if it is full of sin. And yes, I can understand that it is tempting, luring, seductive, just as sin is…

I do want to listen, Jedi, but listening does not mean that I will agree with what you say. I asked questions because I wanted to hear your answers, and you also need to understand where I come from, as a non-Jedi. The only way we can understand each other is if we clarify our own points for each other.

I understand the scenario you described about the cliff thing, but Master Jedi, you also have to understand that people can change their opinions and can sometimes decide, "okay, maybe I didn't trust before…maybe I didn't think very highly of this person then…but I'm going to have faith in this person anyway, and I'm going to trust this person this time…." And it may be the hardest thing for a person to do, but it can still be done.

Just because I haven't always trusted you, Jedi, doesn't mean that I won't sometime later.

Thank you, Qui-Gon.

I must go. The Queen is going to be talking to the Senate in a few minutes.

Padmé


	12. Note 12 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

Indeed it was. It was trained quite well, too. It was very formidable. Anything can be used for evil, in the right circumstances, or for good, by the same, assuming certain conditions are in effect. The Force is living, but it is not life as we know it. Its simply life. It has a Light Side and a Dark Side. Whichever side you call upon is the one that answers. A Sith Lord is a very specifically and specially trained type of renegade Jedi. Their order is very secretive and very strict. They have absolute rules that will not be violated, and they seek to destroy the Jedi Order in vengenace for a wrong they feel was committed millennia ago. The Sith were orginally a species far away, who were primitive and used a form of sympathetic magic to do things. It wasn't related to the Force at all. A large group of Dark Jedi broke off from the Temple and left the known regions and discovered the Sith. They proceeded to enslave the primitives and eventually interbred with them, producing beings powerful in the Dark Side of the Force. Over time, after finally confronting the Jedi for the first time since the exodus, the name Sith shifted from meaning a species to meaning the sect of renegade Jedi. They've existed even during the Republic, just well hidden. The last Sith Wars were right after the Republic was formed, when they were discovered on a large scale. An incident that destroyed almost all of them led to the formulation of those strict rules I mentioned. Its not surprising that you didn't know of them. Not even many Jedi know of them. Usually, such information is only disseminated to Masters, but sometimes it may be given to a Knight if sufficient cause is warranted. Outside the Temple, very very few know of them.

I think she's doing extraordinarily well. I've been communing with her as well. I know very well the love she has for Anakin, and his intense love for her. I have assured her I will allow no harm to come to Anakin. While I live and breathe, he will know no harm.

I am, yes. It went as expected. Lots of resistance, yet they conceded they must test him. They're about to do that now. I want very much for him to reach them as well.

Bail Antilles is a good man. Palpatine, I don't know that well. Finis Valorum, on the other hand, is an old and trusted friend. I've known him for years, and despite how things may look, he is far from corruption. I'm sure there are times when the laws, as they're written, effectively bind his hands and he's unable to do much, but he is one of the finest men I know. If he supports Naboo, he has good reason, and does so for that reason, not for personal gain. This move doesn't sound wise, and I think you're right. It must be weighing very heavily on the queen's mind. I hope she has someone else that she trusts that she can turn to for counsel, and to be given a different perspective. The courts are a bad thing, yes. Good intentions, but bad execution. I'm aware that Naboo's options are limited. I hope you can find resolution soon.

Yes, Obi-Wan knows my feelings and beliefs. I will talk to him, however. He has his doubts about his abilities, I'm sure. Generally, that is decided by the Master and the Council. I'm sure it seems that way to some, but I assure you, that isn't the case. Obi-Wan still has much to learn, as do we all, even Master Yoda, but there is little more he can learn from me. I would prefer it if he trusted himself, and his feelings, a bit more, and was more aware and conscious of the Living Force, but he will do quite well. It'll come to him with time. Yes, I truly feel that way. Obi-Wan is like a son to me. I think very highly of him, and have the greatest and utmost faith and confidence in him. He'll be a much wiser man than I am, that's for certain, and he'll become a great Jedi Knight. I doubt he'll get jealous. I will always consider Obi-Wan like a son, and I'll always love him as a son. Just because he grows up and moves away, so to speak, doesn't change that.

Thank you. I hope you were as well. I more than understand his anxiety. It is, yes.

Hard to speak for the thoughts and actions of others in totality, but I'm sure they'll recognize the importance and wisdom of what must be done.

I plan to speak to Valorum and have him contact the diplomats for me, for me to meet with. The Senate themselves have nothing to do with it. After all, Tatooine is not a Republic member world. I will speak with the diplomats about opening talks and negotiations with the government of Tatooine, namely the Hutts. If we can offer them something that appeals to their sense of greed more, then they'll willingly and gladly release their slaves.

Anything is possible, of course. Probable, on the other hand, is quite another story. For every one that can there are billions who cannot. I dislike speaking in generalities, but in that event I did so in order to make my point more digestible and shorter. Anything is possible, given the proper conditions and circumstances. The thing is that mortal beings cannot be pure by very definition. We're tainted by mortal frailties. Its something to aspire to, but something very very very very precious few will ever come close to attaining. The love you're speaking of is under ideal conditions. The truth of the matter is that where living, breathing beings are concerned, there are no ideal conditions. Perfect love cannot exist in imperfect beings. Oh, you can get close, and a very tiny few can achieve something close enough to not be a danger, but its more rare than trying to find a four leafed clover. Much more rare. It is the exception, not the norm. In comparison to the number of individuals in the galaxy that can achieve something even resembling ideal, perfect love in all the trillions and trillions and trillions of life forms in the galaxy, the number of 10,000 Jedi is an exorbitantly extravagant and wild number of excess. Jedi are VERY rare. The kind of love you speak of makes Jedi seem as commonly found as dirt.

Any emotion, but especially love, should be handled responsibly and taken seriously. Love especially because it affects so many other people besides simply the one feeling it.

No, it doesn't mean that a person has to give in all the time, or at all. However, one being in perhaps a trillion possesses the ability to resist that temptation fully. And you're quite correct, it can't be done with mortal effort or strength. Unfortunately, the number of people who believe in and put their faith in God are far, far, far fewer than those who do not. What you describe and envision is a wonderful thing, in theory. However, reality prevents it from being a fact and reality. Naboo is a planet where you have a good set of laws and such in place. Your crime rate is low. It once was much, much higher. But crime still exists, even now. Why? Because those that break the law do not believe in the law. They don't believe it applies to them, or that its just and fair, or whatever. In some manner, they are removed from the law in their minds. It may even be a simple as lack of education. The point of the matter is that the condition still exists, regardless. Am I telling you not to believe that such a thing is possible? No. Am I telling you that I don't believe its possible? No. Am I talking down on your beliefs? No. I'm simply removing idealism from pragmaticism. I'm simply explaining what is, as opposed to what could be. Because YOUR belief in this kind of love, God, and other things is strong, don't assume, or seek to superimpose that belief onto the beliefs of others. No matter how badly you WANT them to believe the same way you do, in the end, they don't believe the same way you do. Its definitely sad, its tragic, but its true.

We disagree on this because I am a Jedi and you are not, yes, but that's not the only reason, nor the chief reason. We disagree on this because you're so staunchly trying to argue your position you're not hearing what else is being said. I don't want to change your position. I can't change your position. Only you can do that. But going into a situation knowing only a fraction of the facts is very dangerous. You proceed from a false assumption. You proceed, believing that I'm arguing against you, and your beliefs. You proceed, feeling and believing that my beliefs are in opposition to yours. They're not, not even close. The difference is that I recognize and understand that as beautiful and wonderful a thing as your perception of love is, its not the SAME perception, belief, and practice of the quadrillions of lifeforms in the galaxy BESIDES you and me. What love SHOULD be is wonderful. What love you try to achieve is wonderful. What the billions and trillions and quadrillions of lifeforms in the galaxy recognize and practice as love, however, is NOT THE SAME THING. They are mortal, and therefore flawed. They can aspire, just like you can, to be more than what you are, but the sad truth is they DON'T aspire to this. They don't do this because they don't care. They're content feeling love the way they feel it right now. They're content allowing their minds to run rampant with wild thoughts, jealousy, anger, etc because its in their nature to do so. I hear you. I listen. I hear and understand every single thing you're saying. I agree with it. What I disagree with is the naive assumption that the galaxy, and the beings that live in it, are perfect, because love is perfect, or that these beings can experience true and perfect love as easily as breathing. Such love takes effort, a lot of effort. It takes far far more effort than most beings are willing to apply to such a thing. Its sad, its tragic, but its the hard, real truth.

I hope very much that I'm wrong about it as well. It is a possibility we have to consider. That doesn't surprise me, and I hope that it doesn't either.

Anakin is a true joy. He's an inherently good boy, and that's a thing in his favor, I believe. You're quite welcome.

Its good that you can understand what I mean. Not many do. Yes, I am perfectly willing to do so. Its vitally important that he be trained. I'll not sacrifice the galaxy and the future, of the galaxy, the Jedi Order, and of life as we know it, over thirteen people's pride and stubbornness. I doubt he does either, and its best that he doesn't.

No, there's not anything wrong with it, in the proper context. You can feel something without allowing it to control and rule you. That's what we refer to. Emotions are far stronger and more powerful than many believe they are. When they discover themselves to be in error, they're patently shocked. You're very welcome. What I meant by that was precisely what I said. Insight and intuition are extremely valuable tools. They are functions of the subconscious mind, rather than the conscious mind. They're instinctive. You train yourself to recognize them for what they are, and to allow them to speak to you when they perk up at something. In short, you learn to trust them. Like a plant that you nurture in a garden, if you give it love, light and attention, it will flourish. If you ignore it, it will die. Learn to quieten your mind, and to listen to what your soul and heart tell you. You'll hear the Force, eventually. Though you're not a Jedi, the Force speaks to us all, through instincts, insight, intuition, and other means. You can be a valuable asset to your world, and to your queen. To let that gift sit and be unused is a waste and a shame. You're very instinctive and insightful, from my observations. This is a good thing.

I do understand that, and quite frankly, I'd have been worried if you did. Knowing no more about what I had in mind than you did, you saw what I did as you should have. Had you not questioned my thinking, I'd have been concerned. You gave me no reason for concern. I was quite proud of you. You did what few will...you opposed the direct thought of a supposedly "wiser" entity, and questioned it and its motives. I apologize for the stress I know it put you under, but I don't apologize for the contentment and pride I feel in your having done so.

I'm sure it was. It was certainly unexpected, and the unexpected has a sneaky way of doing that to people.

Love has to do with trust. What we were discussing, and disagreeing on, doesn't. That's what I meant. The fear of losing something is not necessarily part of love, but it definitely has its root and origin in what causes the love. The fear of dying is not part of life, but it stems from having the life. That's why we have a self preservation instinct. We couldn't very well have that if we weren't primally and subconsciously unwilling to simply die. But again, as I said earlier, you're speaking in ideals. Ideals do not exist in reality. Some can get close, but an ideal is a concept that is above and far removed from reality.

Precisely, hence its danger.

That's an amusing statement, considering. You're speaking to someone that routinely argues, according to popular belief, with everyone. I know full well that listening does not necessarily mean agreeing. I know that very well. You are quite correct, and honestly, I welcome the conversation and even the debate. It definitely helps in my mind. Besides, we learn more about our own positions that way.

Yes, people can, but because someone can do a thing does not necessarily follow that they must do that thing. Lots of things CAN happen. But do they? Nothing worth doing is truly easy, otherwise everybody would be doing it.

This is true as well. I never meant to imply otherwise.

You're welcome, Padme. I'll speak with you later. I wish you luck in your endeavors. May the Force be with you.

Qui-Gon


	13. Note 13 Padme

Note 13

Qui-Gon,

Thank you for explaining to me more about the Sith and their origins. I now have a better understanding of them. Using such things as magic could not have been good either. Even if the Sith ways were forced on these primitive beings, it makes sense that the Dark Side would have embraced such ideas as the magic.

Yes, Senator Palpatine did say that…well according to Queen Amidala. Palpatine does seem to be good friends with Valorum. I don't know…but he seemed to be acting in what he thought was the best interest for Naboo…but I do wonder about his actions. It just seemed as if he were pushing it too much.

I have heard about the Senate meeting. Palpatine asked Queen Amidala to speak. As soon as she started talking about the Trade Federation's invasion, the Trade Federation interrupted, denying Naboo's claims. The Supreme Chancellor gave the floor back to the queen. She then went on to explain more about the details. The Senate wouldn't believe her! Can you believe that! They wanted to send a team to Naboo to make sure she wasn't lying…"to ascertain the truth." Can you believe that. They're treating the situation like it is some kind of committee. That makes me sick. Palpatine is right; the Senate IS corrupt. The Supreme Chancellor, after talking with the other people in the center, agreed to have an investigation team sent to Naboo.

The Queen knew something had to be done then, so she called for the vote of no confidence, just as Palpatine had suggested. Perhaps Palpatine saw through more of Valorum than the Queen could. He does have a good heart (Palpatine, I mean.) He was so encouraging to the Queen when she was running for Queen.

Okay, so the Council and the Master decide when a Padawan is ready. When do you think the Council will think Obi-Wan is ready for the trails? What exactly are the trials? I know they are some kind of tests for a Padawn to become a Jedi Knight, but what are they like? I have heard so much about them.

It is clear that we can do no more good here. The Queen wants to go back to Naboo to take back what is ours. The Senate is just acting like this is a committee problem, and they will take forever to take any action. Jar-Jar has told the Queen that the Gungans will not go down without a fight. They have a grand army. The Queen wants to use this army to distract the Trade Federation while the Queen and her team go into the Palace to capture the Viceroy (Nute Gunray). The specifics of the plans have not fallen into place yet. I will tell you more once I know what the Queen has decided.

I must go now. Palpatine and Panaka are approaching.

If the Queen travels back to Naboo, would it be possible for you and your apprentice to accompany us?

I am sure Shmi appreciates your protection of Anakin; in fact I know she does.

Bail Antilles of Alderaan, who, as I have said, has been corresponding with me, as well as Senator Palpatine have both been nominated to fill the Supreme Chancellor position. Either one would be a good choice. I'm sorry that Finis Valorum was voted out of office. I wish something else could have been done.

Thank you for assuring me you will talk with Obi-Wan about what you told me. He deserves to know that you believe he is ready for the trials. I hope it helps him feel better. I hope he accepts your words well, and realizes that you are honest and sincere, despite what it may look like to him. The Master and former Padawan relationship must be special.

Have you spoken with Valorum yet?

Be careful who you suggest the slave freeing to in the Senate. They do not seem to be concerned with others, as a whole.

No, certainly no human being can be pure solely relying on themselves. I agree that we are tainted. However, I believe that people can achieve purity much closer with God. There is still going to be faults, but with God at the center of something such as a love relationship, I believe the relationship would go much better, and the love would be closer to the perfect love. It's possible, but I am aware that not many people achieve this kind of love. I'm not saying it would be easy. Anything short of it would not be worth it.

Like I said before, the ability to resist temptation is not found within ourselves, but can be found in God. I also am aware that there are very, very few people in the galaxy who believe in and put their faith in God. I happen to, and therefore, this is my viewpoint.

What you have said about Naboo is correct. Our crime rate is very low. But even those that break the law…they may not feel it applies to them, or whatever, as you said, but deep down inside they have to know it's wrong. Even if they were never told it was wrong…lack of education, as you suggested, deep down inside they must know it is wrong. They may not recognize it as wrong, but somewhere, they know it.

I didn't think you were telling me not to believe such a thing was possible. I am aware that not everyone believes in the things I believe…but I believe in them, Master Jedi. I do think that people are missing out.

I know what you are saying, Master Jedi, but I too have a position. We differ on this. No, I don't believe that you are against everything I am saying, but I think you are against certain parts of it. Now we understand each other better. I also do not believe that your beliefs are opposite of mine. I was simply making a case for my position. I am sorry if you took what I said the wrong way.

I also agree that what most people in the galaxy understand as love is not the same thing as what I am talking about. It is a tiny glimpse of a part of love…a half truth. Fine…fine…I just hope that the Jedi Council recognizes that love can be viewed in another way, and that not everyone in the galaxy views it like so many other people do. I guess that's the point I was trying to make.

Anakin told me that the Council refused him. Why did they do this, Qui-Gon? Can't they understand that being a Jedi means so much to him? If it's so important that he be trained, how can he be trained now that they have denied him?

Again, thank you Master Jedi. Although I do not quite understand all that you have said about instinct, intuition, and the Force, I will take what you have said into consideration, and I will strive to use those gifts.

You have been most kind to me, and it appears as if we will part (if you should refuse to come with us back to Naboo), on good terms.

And I too agree. Just because someone can do something does not mean that they should. Agreed, Master Jedi.

Padmé


	14. Note 14 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

You're quite welcome. I don't intend to come across as gruff and coarse as I probably appear to most of the time. It does indeed.

Too much of any good thing is ultimately bad. He may not have realized what he was doing, and the effect it would have, but then again, he may have been completely cognizant of the fact. It's hard to tell at this point. Please, be careful and watchful, regardless. Something isn't right here.

Typical of the Trade Federation. As for the Senate's disbelif, they're much like other organized bodies. They dislike change and fear what they don't completely understand. Your queen is making a claim of hostility from the Federation. This is unusual, and several Senators have ties to the Federation, like the Senator from Malastare, for example. It upset their speeder, so to speak. If Valorum conceded the point, he was probably put in a position where he had little choice but to go along, or be removed from office anyway. Removing him wouldn't help Naboo, and he'd try for whatever reason to stay, but it seems as if he's being removed anyway.

Senators are typically manipulators to a one, always striving to get the upper hand in whatever situation they find themselves in. Not all of them are bad, of course, but diplomacy, in and of itself, is a form of manipulation, ultimately. Its a tool you have to be very careful with, much like a laser torch. I'd advise the queen to be mindful and wary, just in case. Something definitely not right is afoot.

I would imagine they'd agree with me and find him ready now. The Trials sometimes vary a bit, but there are some standards ones. For example, constructing a lightsaber unassisted is one. Its not as easy as it sounds. You must be attuned to the Force and imbue your crystal with Force energies to bring it to "life," and make the crystal focus the energies properly. Some involve surviving a trek across terribly rough environmental conditions, or negotiating your way out of a bad situation. There are many trials that he could be given.

Thank you, Padme. Its a bold plan, but the queen strikes me as a bold young woman, with a good head on her shoulders. I will offer my services to her assistance through the Council. She will need watching after.

It should be, yes, without much problem. I'd imagine we'd be sent anyway. We know the situation and have been there already. We're the most logical choice.

I've no doubt of that. She's his mother. I am simply a friend, and do what I can.

Bail seems to be a good man, from what little I know of him. Particularly straightforward and honest, for a Senator. That's unusual, but welcome. What's done is done, and we can only hope that its not a disaster in the making.

I think he does as well. Obi-Wan is a very bright young man, and very wise, beyond his years. A bit overly cautious, perhaps, but that's normal, considering. I am sure it will, in time. He'll be resistant to that idea at first, but hopefully he'll realize the truth sooner or later. That relationship is very special indeed. I see Obi-Wan much as a son. I care about him a great deal, and look forward to watching him grow into the Knight, and Master, I know he'll be.

Some, but not as much as I'd like. Something very wrong is going on. I understand your caution very well. I wouldn't speak of such a thing to someone I didn't trust. There are few in the Senate I do.

I'm in total agreement with you. I only mean to say that while what you speak of is possible, its not probable for the galaxy at large, simply because of the nature of beings as they are. Few will give themselves unto a force that they can't see, touch, hear or smell, like God, for example. Not so much that they don't believe as much as they need discernible assurance to trust. Those that can are deeply rewarded and inundated with the love of God at the center of their lives, but for every one that does this, many many more don't.

Of course it is, and there's nothing wrong with that. As I've said before, the ratio of people who put their trust in God to those who don't are staggeringly in favor of those who don't. Regrettable, sad, but true.

A person only knows if they've done something wrong if they're taught to understand that what they've done is wrong. A neku doesn't think its wrong when they kill a human that invades their land. The first obvious argument is that a neku is an animal. Yes, that's true. A neku is also a predator, and a territorial beast. In its limited mind, it sees the human as a threat, to its territory, to its food, to itself and to its family. It eliminates the threat. There's no wrong there. In fact, from their perspective, its very right. Criminals are much the same, in some ways. Just because someone is human doesn't mean they were raised to believe the same things everyone else was. They may have been taught that thievery was right and honorable. That is was a mark of skill and glory to be able to steal successfully. They can only know something is wrong if they have been taught and understand that its wrong. We'd like to believe that there's a universal subconscious realization of the difference between right and wrong, but there isn't. Teaching can be deliberate, or it can be circumstantial, as in by observation.

That they may be, and once more, I agree with you. They, however, probably feel the same about you, because you believe what you believe. There's always more than one side to any statement or argument. If you ever plan to enter the diplomatic arena yourself, my friend, that'd be a handy tool to remember when dealing with others. It'll help you, I'm sure. Many lose sight of that. They forget it. There are at least as many viewpoints in a situation as there are sides or people involved. Usually most of the involved have two or more ideas and viewpoints about the same thing.

Words are easily mistaken, Padme. They are a feeble attempt to put voice to a thought or feeling. Misunderstandings are very common and possible. I take no offense at it, and meant none in return.

Its about fear, Padme. They fear that the very things they've fought so hard not to believe are truth, rather than myth. That they are solid, rather than fog. I've warned them for years, as have others, that such things were coming into play. They chose to believe that we were wrong. It turns out we weren't, and now they fear that. It will be resolved, it will just take a bit longer is all.

You will learn more of it in time. Experience will be your guide and teacher. You have the gifts I spoke of. I believe you'll do well with them.

I was to you as I should be, but I admit that it was a pleasure to be kind to you as well. You're an enjoyable person to speak with. You have an agile and sharp mind, and a discerning eye. That is a rare thing these days. I wouldn't allow it to be on anything less than good terms, and I believe we're about to be asked to accompany you back to Naboo, and if so, we will.

I'm glad we are. You don't have to agree to accept and understand. Another valuable tool to remember.

Qui-Gon


	15. Note 15 Padme

Note 15

Qui-Gon,

I can understand why the Yoda must be so busy right now. I am sure that the Jedi Council has much to discuss, especially in regards to Anakin.

I wanted to tell you that Shmi told me that a man DID try to free her. She knows who it was….her husband. Don't say anything about this to Anakin, because it might be upsetting to him. Anakin's father, Summoner Skywalker (he changed his name to Cliegg Lars), sold Shmi into slavery while she was still pregnant with Anakin. I guess he did this because they were tight on money, and it was the only way he could think to support his other two children. Isn't that upsetting? Anyway, Shmi told me that she forgives her husband and still loves him dearly. Can you imagine a husband selling his wife into slavery? Watto wouldn't let the transaction go through. It's such a shame.

Anakin told me that he was tested, but the Council said he was too old? See, I knew you were being too overconfident in your opinion. Now you have to find a home for him, and a way for him to make a living. A 9 year old boy could never just roam free in the galaxy. You were willing to have Anakin as your Padawan? What did Obi-Wan have to say about that? Do you think he could be jealous of Anakin because of your treatment towards Anakin?

Even though Anakin will not be trained, he will be coming with us back to Naboo? How can the Council do that? Don't they know of the danger that will be present when we return to Naboo? I really don't think walking into a battle is a good idea for a 9 year old little boy. He is pleasant company, but I would rather look out for his safety. Make sure you protect him well. I don't know how I'm going to explain this endeavor to Shmi.

Palpatine DID seem rather eager about getting rid of Valorum. I'm not sure what he's up to, but I don't like it. It almost seems as if he is using this situation to his own advantage. I don't like that one bit. The Queen told me that Palpatine talked with her a little after the Senate meeting. He has been nominated to succeed Valorum as Supreme Chancellor! But so have two others, a Bail Antilles from Alderaan (who has been writing me, and seems to be a very kind and caring person), and someone from Malastare. I have heard from both Bail and Palpatine, and Palpatine has been elected. To be honest, I wish Bail Antilles got the position.

Bail told me some things about Palpatine that bothered him, and they bother me too. I suppose that is politics for you.

Palpatine said, "A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. I WILL be Supreme Chancellor. And when I am elected, I promise to put an end to corruption." Then he suggested that the Queen ACCEPT the fact that the Trade Federation had control of the planet. The Queen could never accept that, and at that point she realized that Palpatine seemed to be too deluded by his nomination to be of any use. The Senate is corrupt, and the only way to get this situation solved is to go back to Naboo.  
With that, I have the confidence that the Queen is doing the right thing.

Oh, there is one other thing. Shmi is worried about Anakin and wanted to make sure that we took good care of him. She told me he has asthma. Did he tell you that? Anakin actually DID tell me. I don't think it has bothered him any.

I must go now. We will begin boarding the ship in a few minutes. You must excuse me.

I have returned. The gungans have agreed to help us, and that is a great relief to me. Now that you know of my identity through what was revealed when I spoke with Boss Nass, yes, it is the truth. My full name is Padmé Amidala.

And what is your opinion of my plan? I also asked your apprentice. I need everyone to be with me in this if we were to take back the palace and capture the viceroy.

We should be heading to the palace as soon as I have confirmed that everyone here understands the plan and is with me.

Do not worry, master Jedi. Although I was not used to Jedi when I first met you, now that I have gotten to know you better, you do not appear to be as gruff as I thought you were at first.

I have to disagree with you, though, but maybe those things you can never have too much of. One of these things is love.

I agree that something isn't right. The entire Senate appears to be corrupt. It had to be obvious to the other Senators what was going on with Naboo. I don't care what kind of ties several Senators have had to the Trade Federation. Don't they care about the Republic? Weren't they elected to do what was in the best interest of everyone?

Thank you for explaining more of what trials are. Out of curiosity, what did you have to do for yours, or are you allowed to tell about it? When will Obi-Wan be notified if the Council decides that it's time for him to take these trials?

I welcome your help. Thank you for agreeing to go with us back to Naboo.

I hope I did not make a mistake in moving for the vote of no confidence.

I must say that I have learned a lot about the Jedi through this situation. I was not expecting this, but it has made the time interesting. I'm sure he will make a nice Knight. You have a lot of confidence in him.

I also disagree with you about what you said about someone only knowing they've done something wrong if they have been taught that is wrong. While I think that is easier to detect that you're doing something wrong…still someone who is going to murder another person must KNOW that it isn't right, at least they must feel something that lets them know that maybe it's not the right thing to do. They may not recognize it, but somehow, they have to know a little. There is a difference between animals and humans in regard to this.

I agree that animals don't know something is wrong unless they are taught it…but humans are different. Humans are held to a different standard. Even if they were raised in an environment where "thievery was right and honorable," I would think there would still have to be some hesitation, even if it is very slight. I think those people just might be very skilled at ignoring the feeling of knowing it is wrong. How do you know that God did not place this within each human being?

I know many people would not want to hold to the kind of love I hope for. Yes, I can understand that there are two sides to any statement or argument, and I thank you for reminding me of that.

I'm sorry that the Council has been ignoring you for years about the possibility of the Sith. Perhaps it may have helped prevent the problem we encountered on Tatooine.

Again, I thank you, Master Jedi. I will not forget this time we have spent together. If you have free time between your Jedi duties, you would be welcome to return to Naboo and visit. I would be very glad to see you again.

We should be moving to the palace soon. The Gungans have already begun their march into battle. It's my hope that our pilots will be able to knock out the control ship before there are too many Gungan casualties.

Padmé Amidala


	16. Note 16 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

Yes, this is true. The Council is rather busy, to say the least. Anakin has definitely presented a topic of which they'll be talking over for some time.

I won't mention it. Its best not to overly alarm the boy if not necessary. Its very upsetting, and no I can't imagine it, but then again, I've never been in his position, faced with his circumstances. If I had, then perhaps I could imagine it, though I doubt very seriously I would do so even then. It doesn't surprise me about Watto, and yes, it is a shame.

I never said the Council would agree to it. I said he must be trained. Finding a home or a living for him won't be difficult. I am willing, yes. I believe at first, he believed as you did, or do. Now, he's beginning to see otherwise, I think. Its possible. Anything is possible, but given things as they are, I doubt its probable.

The Council isn't doing it. I am. I'm keeping him close to me, as I promised, so I know he'll be safe. I don't expect you to understand, Padme. I know full well what we're returning to, and what sort of environment it is. I will protect him as I have always, and have protected everyone else, namely with it as my first priority.

Indeed he did. It can only spell trouble, ultimately. I don't know Palpatine that well, but his actions speak of a motive far different than what his voice tells you. Be mindful, and be careful. His nomination doesn't surprise me either. Politicians are master manipulators, its only how they choose to use that gift that makes it potentially good, or bad. Senator Antilles is a fair man, a young man with high ideals. A friendship with him would be a wise cultivation, I think. The Gran from Malastare is typical of his species and clan. Profit is foremost in his thoughts. I echo your wish, Padme.

Politics are a very dangerous game. If handled lightly and without the respect they require, its quite easy to twist them to one's advantage and ultimately hurt many.

Very predictable, in a sense, this behavior on Palpatine's part. Most politicians, and I say most because not all do, really, have an ambition to better their position, regardless of what it costs others. Something is seriously amiss with Palpatine's behavior and mindset. This suggests that he's a self serving man with delusions of power. A dangerous man to have leading the most powerful political body of the Republic. I think she is as well. The sooner resolved, the better.

She made mention of it, yes. I've been keeping an eye on him, to be sure that it doesn't flare up and bother him. The change in climates probably affected it some.

A well conceived plan, your highness. The use of a decoy is an effective way to disarm a problem before it gets well underway in many ways. I commend you on your ingenuity.

Your plan is well conceived, and it presents a high factor of success, assuming that certain key elements are in place. The Gungan army should provide some of that ensurement.

We should be going, yes. My thanks, your highness. Its not been my intention to appear gruff. Merely my nature, I suppose.

I never said you could, Padme. But disagreement is fine. Its part of what makes things like discovery possible. Ultimately, a good thing.

They are. Each is more worried about how to improve their personal gain and situation, as opposed to their worlds, or the worlds of others. They care more about what the Republic can do for them, than they do about the Republic itself. What they were elected to do and what they do aren't always the same thing. They are, after all, only mortal beings. Susceptible to greed, envy, and lust for power and money just like any other. They should be stronger than that, but simply because they're elected doesn't mean they are, if you understand what I mean.

You're welcome. Most of my trials were the standard ones. One that was unique to my situation was I was taken to a remote area of Kashyyyk, and had to make my way across the entire area of the jungle within three days' time. As you know, Kashyyyk is the homeworld of the Wookiees, who live among the treetops there. The reason the mighty Wookiees live so high above the ground is because as mighty as they are, the predators and other creatures on the ground are that much mightier. Getting through that jungle alive would be an enormous challenge of my perseverance, wits, ingenuity, stamina, and courage, not to mention my skills. I made it, barely, with less than an hour to spare. He should be notified at any time now. Generally a group is set for trials all at once, to make it easier.

You're quite welcome. Continuing to serve you is an honor.

You only did what you felt was right, given the information you were given. Your motivation was well intended. Does the hammer know its going to drive a nail when you pick it up?

Indeed I do. I've trained many Knights in my time. Obi-Wan is one of the finest students I've ever had. I've looked into his future. If he continues, he will become a great Jedi. He's very wise, even for being so young now. He'll do great things for the galaxy and Republic. An unexpected but welcome legacy to leave to the galaxy once I'm gone, of course. Its been an honor being his Master.

"Right and wrong" are subjective. What is right and wrong to you is not necessarily right and wrong to another species, another world, or another group. We aren't born knowing right from wrong, otherwise we'd never have to be taught. Its a nice thing to want, in an ideal world, but an ideal world doesn't exist.

How are humans held to a different standard? What does an infant know of right and wrong? Nothing. What does it know of murder and exoneration? Nothing. It knows light, it knows dark, it knows pain, and it knows comfort. It knows contentment, and it knows hunger. It knows desire. That's about it. As it grows, it learns. An infant toddler beats his twin brother upside the head with a wooden pole. He doesn't know its wrong, until his parents tell him its wrong. Even then, he doesn't really understand. The motivations behind this action can be almost anything. Perhaps the brother had a toy he wanted and wouldn't give it to him. Perhaps he simply wished to take the toy. Perhaps the idea just crept into his mind. Whatever the case, its not a matter of knowing right from wrong. A child is a blank slate. If the child is never taught anything, then the slate is filled with what it perceives and observes. Depending on the environment in which the child grows up, that material can vary greatly. Assuming that all humans "know" right from wrong is assuming that all humans are good by nature. Unfortunately, as much as we'd like this to be true, it isn't. Everyone has the POTENTIAL for good and evil within them, but no one is inherently either one or the other. We are a product of our teachings and experiences. Those that don't know God exists aren't going to be worshipping Him because they don't know He exists. Despite how much you may wish them to "know" He's there, they don't. Despite how much you think they should be able to feel and tell He's there, they don't. If you try to convert them, they don't just happily give up their beliefs and start believing what you say. Human behavior and psychology is far from that simple. Even though an animal is not a human, the basic dynamics of its personality development and learning facilities are virtually identical in that fashion because they follow the same rules. If you're raised in an environment where things that you feel are wrong are right, then you're going to live your life by that assertion that these things are right. You think there's hesitation there? Go to the Undercity on Coruscant. Go to Nal Hutta. Go to the gangster section of any city on Rodia. Then tell me how much hesitation you see, assuming you live to come back and tell me about it. I'll tell you how much you'll find. None. You'll find none because these people believe that what they do is just, or right, or is acceptable behavior. There is no question of right and wrong there because to them, they are doing right. You don't face an opponent hoping what you think they think is what they think, you face an opponent hopefully after having discovered how they think and are able to react accordingly.

Again, I don't mean to sound adversarial. I simply speak from experience. Its a sad testament that such things aren't as you would have them, but the truth is that they are very far from it. You're quite welcome. We have different opinions based on different teachings and different experiences. A discussion is not necessarily an argument.

Perhaps it might have, but it is done, and little can be done except try to overcome the ramifications before they grow too dire. Because one does not see something doesn't mean its not there, as you so well know, by now.

I am grateful for the invitation. I hope to be able to take you up upon it. I doubt I will train another Padawan after Anakin, at least anytime soon. During his training, I may be able to get us there for a visit. Friends are a wonderful thing to have. It would be most agreeable to see you again, and your lovely planet. I enjoy it there very much, despite the less than desirable circumstances of the moment.

I believe they can do it. If everyone stays focused, this plan can and will succeed. Again, I commend you on a well thought out plan. I shall speak with you later.

Qui-Gon Jinn


	17. Note 17 Padme

Note 17

Qui-Gon,

I am very grateful for all the help you have given me, Master Jedi. I don't know what would have happened if you had not been assigned to me….and especially in the recent turn of events.

We have made it to the palace safely, but the moment we arrived inside the hangar, and we neared the doors to the main palace, that Sith from Tatooine blocked our way. Thank you for engaging him…you and your apprentice. I do not want to imagine what would have happened if you had not been there.

Because he showed up, we must take the long way to the palace. We will just have to be creative on how we get to the throne room. I hope it was wise for Sabe to dress as me again. Captain Panaka is with me, and those in my group.

I don't know if you saw this, but two droid deckas appeared just after you began fighting with the Sith. It was fortunate that Anakin found a hiding spot in the cockpit of a ship. Anakin figured out how to fire the ship's weapon, and he shot down the droid deckas.

I will find a way to get to that throne room; I have to. My people depend on this.

I hope that you still pursue freedom for Anakin's mother. I know you swore that you would try. I trust then, Master Jedi, that you will know how to train Anakin. You must be a good teacher. Obi-Wan has been your apprentice, and you definitely knew how to train him.

Well if taking care of Anakin is so important, and you do not think it will be difficult, than I hope you know more about it than I do. You have resources available to you as a Jedi that I do not.

I will tell you what Palpatine said….that affected me so much, but I don't want this to go everywhere, as it is his reputation. Bail Antilles, though I am not entirely sure I can trust him, told me that Palpatine said in a personal correspondence that I was the one that suggested the vote of no confidence when it was HE that did. I would never have thought about it if he had not suggested it.

Here is Bail's quote. This could be a rumor, or false information that Bail made up, but I don't think so.

"_I do agree with you that perhaps a change in leadership was not warranted or even for the best at this time. However, the Queen completely blindsided me with this; I was quite appalled. Between you and me, my friend, this was never even discussed in our meetings. Once the words were out of her mouth, however, it was impossible to stop events at that point."_

I don't know what to think. Could Palpatine have said that? But if he didn't, Bail would have had to been a liar…and I can't imagine that either.

How can other politicians knowingly deceive other people? Why don't they want to help their own planets, and situations across the galaxy? I couldn't live like that.

Bail Antilles recently told me the same thing. He said he knows, after what Palpatine said about me, that Palpatine is a man who follows the passions of whoever he is speaking with. He says that Palpatine can never be fully trusted again. But then he also said that Palpatine may have just wanted the power, and that he is nervous because of the situation with Naboo. He told me that many other Senators would have acted the same way if they were in his position. He might not be as bad as he sounds…but still, I don't like it.

It is fortunate that the Supreme Chancellor is only that. He cannot make major decisions without the Senate's vote, and he is supposed to direct action in the Senate. Perhaps he will not be so bad in that role. He cannot get any higher within the Senate, and maybe he will concentrate more on our situation…instead of on gaining power. Bail told me about the limitations on the Supreme Chancellor, and what his true role is.

Anakin seems fine to me too. He didn't say anything about the change in climates bothering him, but he acted like he had a little trouble when we changed climates. He wouldn't want to tell me something like that. I think he wants to appear strong to me.

Thank you, Master Jedi. It feels good that my plans meet your approval. I would have taken action even if you had not approved, because it is the only action we can take.

No one knows what will happen, whether we will succeed in my plan. There are no assurances with this. I have to try, though. This is our only chance.

I realize that not every politician holds up to his promises, and I know that they do not always act perfectly. But, Master Jedi, if they really tried to help others…if they really cared about their people and their position, they would avoid a lot of those problems. There seem to be far too many of them that are corrupt.

Thank you for explaining your trials to me. I understand them better now, and I can guess that you do not share this information often. Thank you for telling me. I did not know that about Kashyyyk. I didn't know there were so many predators and that it was such a dangerous planet. I have never been there.

You must feel very good about training such a wonderful apprentice, then. I hope he becomes all that you say and hope he will become.

I didn't mean to suggest that we are born knowing all about right and wrong, but maybe more of a general thing. Teaching "right and wrong" may be more of teaching that doing wrong has consequences. And just because someone knows that an action is wrong doesn't mean that the person chooses to not become involved in it. Knowledge and decisions don't always mean the same thing. Instead, knowing about the wrong things only makes us aware that they are wrong things. Knowing it doesn't make the decision for us. This doesn't mean all humans are good by nature.

I understand what you were saying regarding this, Master Jedi, and no, I have never been in a gangster area, as you mentioned, but I still believe that the person doing the killing cannot think that what they are doing is completely right. I guess that I will never know this for sure. You may be right, but I still believe what I told you before.

I would like to see you often if you get to train Anakin. I would be curious to see what he grows up to be. Two old friends would always be a welcome in my house. I will have to tell my adopted father…but I know that he would welcome you, especially after I tell him what all you and Anakin have done for me.

I hope your fight goes well. With you and Obi-Wan against the Sith, it doesn't sound as if he has much of a chance.

Well, I am off to capture the Viceroy.

Padmé Amidala


	18. Note 18 QuiGon

Author - Jedi_Linewalker: (from the Jedi Council forums)  
.?usr=1181942

Padme,

You're quite welcome, my young friend. Its our duty to protect and serve, and we've come to know you a bit better than simply a world ruler who needs our assistance. We've come to know you as a friend. Think nothing of duty and friendship, except to know that we honor those feelings in the utmost.

Its no problem. Its what we're here for, primarily, I suppose. We suspected he would turn up here. It was a feeling from the Force. I imagine it would have been rather violent and messy, had we not been here. Thankfully, the Council saw fit to send us back with you.

Be careful, Padme, and be mindful and watchful. Trust in your feelings. They'll lead you on the right path. You can do this. You knew there would be complications, and so there are. Now, you simply must deal with them. I'm sure it was. My feelings tell me that was the best course of action. Panaka seems to be an honorable man. You're fortunate to have such a man with you.

I didn't see that, no. I knew Anakin was hiding in the cockpit of that ship, but wasn't aware of what he'd done to the droidekas. It seems that it was fortunate that he come as well. The Force is with us, so far.

I know you will. Yes, they do. You're a good queen, Padme. Wise beyond your years, and not afraid to take the incentive. I'm honored to know you.

Of course I will. I will do so until I draw no more breath, or she's free, one of the two. I'm glad that you trust me. I try to be. Obi-Wan had to be a good student as much as I had to be a good teacher. I think he's done quite well.

It is important. Taking care of anyone is truly important, but this is a priority at the moment. It will be no more difficult than taking care of anyone else. I hope so as well. I do have many resources available to me, as a Jedi, this is true. Hopefully, they can be used to their best and fullest measure for his benefit.

What you tell me is between you and I, as it always has been, Padme. Given the choice between Palpatine and Bail, I would have to say Bail is by far the more trustworthy of the two. My feelings tell me this. The Force whispers this to my mind. I'm quite sure you wouldn't have. Its not in your character to do such a thing. Its not even a consideration, especially considering the amount of assistance Valorum has given you and your people in the past. I'm sure that your call for the vote came as quite a shock to him, as he'd remarked to me before we came here to begin with that he had spoken with you on several occasions and genuinely liked you quite a bit. He thought you were an excellent ruler and showed much promise. From my own observations, I know that this is not something you would have thought of on your own, because the type of maneuver it is simply isn't in your nature. Its the unfortunate product of manipulation by Palpatine, getting you to help him achieve whatever it is he desires. Please, watch him and be careful and mindful of him. I don't know what he's up to, but it's much more than simple political jockeying for power.

It sounds like something Palpatine would say. Its definitely pontificating enough, and I feel that it's his intent and feeling as well. A very polite lie. There's little else you can say about it.

I believe he could, yes, as I said just before. If he didn't, Bail would have to be a liar, yes, and a very gifted con man to pull such a "right feeling" quote out of the air. Bail doesn't strike me as a liar.

Its quite simple, actually, Padme. Politicians are people, just like anyone else. They're given to the same foibles and desires that anyone else is. The unfortunate thing is that, in their position, they wield the political power to make their whims a reality if they work at it well enough. Once they get that position, often the power goes to their head. What is good for their planet and people becomes less important than what they themselves want. Helping others becomes a low priority idea, in comparison to helping themselves. This is the nature of corruption. You couldn't live like that because the power of ruling a world hasn't gone to your head. Your lust for personal power hasn't grown like it does in most. Your integrity and honesty is what keeps you grounded and solid. You're a remarkable young woman, Padme, and I'm pleased and honored to know you.

I would say Bail is quite the intelligent man, as well. Palpatine does, indeed, follow the passions of whomever he's speaking with. Its a common trait in those that often have hidden agendas. My feelings tell me that you should heed Bail's words. What it's are very little good, Padme. Its true, that may be the case, but search your feelings. I sincerely doubt very strongly that that is the case. I implore you, be mindful.

This is true, but he's a gifted manipulator. If he desires even more power, he'll find a way to obtain it. Again, he may not be that bad, but the truth is rarely as bright as the hoped for possibility. While anything is possible, again, my feelings tell me that he's very corrupt and something is very wrong. There's a cloud that surrounds the man, a cloud I can't see through. That means he has something to hide.

I doubt he'd say much of anything about it, unless it was seriously uncomfortable. I'd agree that he wants to appear strong for you.

Of course you would have, and I couldn't fault you for the desire to, either. This situation is dire, and demands our immediate attention. Its not the most desirable of circumstances, but then again, conflict is never desirable to begin with. At least, not this sort of conflict. Be careful, my young friend, and listen to your feelings.

A chance is better than no chance, Padme. Nothing ventured is nothing gained. You can't gain something without risking something. Nature is all about balance. You must do what you must.

You're right, if they really cared and really tried to help others with their position and authority, it'd be wonderful. The key word in that statement is "if." Unfortunately, the "if" is rarely a "do." There are far, far too many that are corrupt.

You're quite welcome. No, its not often that we discuss such things. There's no rule forbidding us speaking of it, its simply that it isn't our way to speak of such things. Kashyyyk is a beautiful place, but also quite deadly. There has to be a reason the Wookiees are so powerful, right?

I do, yes. Obi-Wan is a very good apprentice, the best I've trained. I hope so as well.

Education is simply another form of conditioning, when you boil it all down. When someone is raised doing bad things, and no bad consequences result from their actions, of course they don't consider what they're doing to be bad. It all has to do with belief and perception. Someone has to believe something is wrong, even if its a subconscious, subliminal belief, to feel that they've done wrong when they've killed someone or committed some other crime. Almost every action is a choice of some degree. Very little do we do that isn't a choice made by us, directly or indirectly. No, no one is good by nature, necessarily. Such is the fallacy of a flawed, mortal being.

You will never know for certain until you experience it. This is an unfortunate thing that I hope very fervently that you never have occasion to experience. Such places aren't the sort of thing that a good, young ruler of a just world should have to be exposed to.

I'm pretty certain you will. I know he'll definitely desire it so. I'm glad, and honored, that you consider us so. If you think he would, then so much the better. I wouldn't wish to cause any sort of disturbance.

I hope so as well. Between Obi-Wan and I, we should be able to deal with its proficiency with the Jedi arts, and compensate for its youth and vitality. Anything is possible, and the future is never certain, but I'm confident we'll ultimately be victorious.

Take care, Padme, and good luck, though I don't really believe much in luck. Remember what I've told you. It'll help you. Feel, don't think. Let go your conscious self and let your feelings guide you. Concentrate on the moment, and be mindful and watchful. My best wishes for you go with you. May the Force be with you...always.

Qui-Gon


	19. Conclusion Padme's perspective

Conclusion

Padmé's Personal Diary Entry –

I have just heard the news that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn lost his life in the battle for Naboo.

We did stop the invasion, but at great cost. The Viceroy of the Trade Federation, and its members, will soon be put on trial in the Courts. My group and I managed to reach the throne room, where the Viceroy was.

Anakin destroyed the droid control ship, apparently by accident. I was so worried for him in the battle. But he is safe now.

Supreme Chancellor Palpatine mentioned a possible funeral for Qui-Gon, and if so I will attend. As for Qui-Gon's death….it saddens me. His death will not be forgotten by the Naboo. Without him, I'm not sure what would have happened.

Although he and I argued, and had misunderstandings, we eventually came to understand one another better. I know he valued Anakin, and I will do what I can to see that Anakin is taken care of properly. I am trying to get him to live at the palace, though it will have to be his decision. I do not think the Jedi will allow Anakin to be trained. I have spoken with Master Yoda on this subject, and without Qui-Gon's support, there doesn't seem to be another Jedi to back him. Obi-Wan was against it…and I doubt he will change his mind.

I wish that Qui-Gon wouldn't have had to die, but because of his effort, Naboo is free. I hate to think what would have happened if the Jedi had not been there. Qui-Gon said he was honored to know me. I am honored to have known him as well.

And with Qui-Gon's death, I wonder what will happen to Shmi. Anakin told me that his father tried to free her, but it didn't work. I hope that she is safe. No one else seem to deem freeing Anakin's mother important.

I still cannot put all of my trust in Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Hopefully there will not be to many more situations for me to have to deal with him. I hope Valorum has recovered from the incident…Palpatine….Qui-Gon thought Palpatine was up to much more than just "political jockeying." It's evident that Qui-Gon didn't trust him either.

Qui-Gon warned me to be mindful of Palpatine's actions. I will try to do just that…even if he is from Naboo. I cannot trust him completely. Qui-Gon thought Palpatine had something to hide. I am wondering if he is correct. Time will tell.

I must go….

Written 9/30/05


End file.
